What's Weighing on You?

First and Foremost

I did not run the Deep Creek 10 miler this weekend. Yes, I am bummed. But the temps stayed in the 40s, it was pouring rain, and I couldn't justify dropping $400+ dollars on a weekend away with those conditions. If I get sick that means missing more important races in the next few weeks. It happens, it sucks. I had to eat the $40 race entry fee, but I could've lost a lot more.

The Numbers Game

I finally got up the nerve to get on the scale. I used to weigh myself all of the time, until I stopped liking what I was seeing (and it would ruin my day(s)). But I needed a reality check, so Friday morning I bit the bullet and did it. 142.

142

That's 9 lbs more than last year, 14 more than the day I walked down the aisle. That's 7 less than when I graduated high school, and 6 more than when I was cross-fitting (and very muscular). It's 16 more than my mom was at my age, and 2 more than after she gave birth to me. It's the exact weight I weighed when I was 21 (and I vowed to never be that heavy again once I lost it).  It's 11 more than I was in the below photo

May 2013 - 131 lbs

Days before my wedding July 2012 - 128 lbs

Dec. 2012 - 136 lbs

It's 9 lbs from my 'ideal' weight according to the LA Weight loss chart. It's honestly about 10 lbs more than I'm comfortable with. It's not muscle. I have been muscular. This is pure happy weight. Happy weight from the nights of drinking beer to 2 AM. Happy weight from not cutting my portions and starving myself. Happy weight from refueling after long distance runs and races. But, alas, it is time to cut back. For a little while.

Obsession

I do not want to live a life that is tied to the scale. For women this is so hard. Put on just a few pounds and you are 'chunky'. Get too thin and you are " a skinny bitch who needs a burger". It's a lose-lose situation for women in this life sometimes. From this post, it's pretty obvious I am a metrics driven - number obsessed individual. It helps with running. It helps with finances. It's just how my brain works. I am numbers obsessed (including dates). So, I'm using this blog as a way to keep me honest. I want to lose 10 lbs by my birthday.

If you don't see me for a bit, it is because I am at home, eating lettuce, and avoiding temptation :) I will still have beers on the weekend, because we all deserve a cheat day - right?

I think this also means curtailing my distance running (until I get my appetite under control). My next 'big' race is the VA Wine Country Half on June 4th. After this I am working on some new goals, such as breaking my 5K PR. I am also competing in my first triathlon in July! I have never competitively swam or biked... so this will be interesting :) It is a .25 mile swim, 16 mile bike ride, and a 5K run. And I'm doing it in Amelia Island - where I got married. It's going to be a wonderful trip and I can't wait to start training for it.

Thanks for reading and happy running!

India